Жизнь в Западном Мурино: личный опыт и побег с района
ХРОНИКИ АЛИНЫ

Почему я уехала из Мурино при первой же возможности

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Дворы в Гринландии (Мурино)

В 2018 у меня был негативный опыт, связанный с жизнью в Девяткино. Мне пришлось по не зависящим от меня обстоятельствам около года прожить в Западном Мурино, так же известном как Девяткино. И я хочу рассказать, почему жизнь в Мурино похожа на затяжной сербский артхаусный фильмец про Сатану. То есть ужасна.

Вот-вот станем Санкт-Петербургом

В районе специфичное настроение. Все люди, которые живут в нём, считают себя жителями Санкт-Петербурга. Они стараются обзавестись его пропиской, прикрепиться к поликлиникам, отдать детей в хорошую школу, ссылаются на его нормативные акты, вспоминают коммунальные тарифы из прошлой жизни. И все ждут, что вот настанет время, и наконец-то Санкт-Петербург возьмет эту территорию, присоединит к себе, обогреет и будет все там наконец-то хорошо. Ожидание этого события не мотивирует жителей делать в Мурино хорошо прямо сейчас. Еще немного потерпим, поупиваемся новостями о том, что Санкт-Петербург рассматривает возможность присоединения, помечтаем и начнем жить как в городе.

Единственный способ выбраться

И вот в этот самый Санкт-Петербург, на Большую Землю, есть только одна автодорога. Дорога в Бугры. Если машины нет, есть вариант сесть на метро. Да, в отличие от других новых районов в Мурино есть станция метро «Девяткино» в пешей доступности. Ветка прямая до станций метро «Площадь Восстания», «Чернышевская» и других центральных станций. Кроме того, есть электричка до Финляндского вокзала. Но! Ехать придется минут 30 только на метро, до него еще надо пробраться. Таким образом, чтобы сгонять на работу или как-то провести время после нее, надо предпринять усилие и выбраться с района.

Делать нечего

А выбираться с района просто необходимо. Во-первых, там нет работы. Ладно я, я привыкла, что работа для меня сконцентрирована в бизнес-центрах класса А, а такие в спальниках не строят. Я привыкла ездить на работу, мне не жалко. Но помимо работы и дома есть кино, театры, рестораны, кафе и магазины, которые я очень люблю. Так вот, приодеться в Девяткино можно в бесконечных секондах среднего уровня и в «Белорусском трикотаже». Т.о. хочешь хорошую одежду — едешь в город. Хочешь поесть что-то отличное от шавермы и сушивока — едешь в город. Хочешь попить с друзьями крафтовое пиво российских (да даже питерских) пивоварен — едешь в город. Хочешь учить английский после работы? Правильно, едешь в город. В любой ситуации, отличной от покупки товаров первой необходимости ты едешь в город.

На молоко, яйца С0 и хлеб надо успевать

Но товары первой необходимости могут тебя не дождаться. Если ты работаешь до вечера или не дай бог тебе есть чем заняться на Большой Земле после работы, то скорее всего в магазине у дома ты не купишь хлеб, молоко и яйца высшей категории. Гипермаркетов в пешей доступности нет, поэтому поход в магазин надо планировать заранее. Я покупала все около работы и ездила с пакетом продуктов на метро. Кроме того, в любое время дня и ночи в супермаркетах у дома будут очереди. Несетевые и местечковые магазины тут бойкотируют жители, считая их рассадником алкашей и криминала. Название «Продукты 24» здесь синоним бомжатника. Хотя иногда товары там прикольнее, как по мне. Есть скрытые бриллианты в виде лимонада со вкусом Саперави и пасты для приготовления супов мисо.

«Заварить мусоропровод и обнести все забором» (с)

Помимо магазинчиков местные собственники бойкотируют здравый смысл. Мне кажется, что скорее всего это связано с тем, что жилплощадь в Девяткино — это первая жилплощадь в собственности для многих людей. А так как своя квартира — это все еще культ, людям хочется, чтобы все было идеально, правильно и прям как у людей. Поэтому перенимаются какие-то бредовые практики организации совместной жизни огромного количества людей. Например, любовь к замкам и заборам. Люди пытаются закрыться ото всех. При этом знают, как вам лучше жить, стоило ли вам заводить детей или собаку. Если вы говорите, что заборы — это зло, значит вы мудак и хотите всех обворовать. Если вы против лишних замков из-за препятствия к выходу при пожаре, значит вам жалко 300 рублей, чтобы скинуться и накупили квартира, а обустраивать ничего не хотите. В общем вы в любом случае не правы, даже если ничего не делаете. Тут главное виноватого найти. А еще тут постоянно предлагают вырвать с корнем лавочки у входа в подъезд, потому что, о боже, «на них будут сидеть» (с).

Застройщики тоже видимо чего-то ждут

Такой же ерундой занимаются застройщики. Казалось бы, дома строят в чистом поле, им вообще ничего не мешает сделать нормальные дворы и сами дома. Но в ход идут застойные практики из прошлого, и люди хватают такие квартиры, так как это понятно, привычно, распространено. До идиотизма доходят даже при проектировании элементарных тропинок. Они проложены не для людей! А когда человек идет кратчайшим путем (то есть по газону), туда непременно ставят забор. В моем дворе (куда из подъезда не было выхода!) дорожки были проложены в виде концентрических окружностей и радиальных лучей. Чем руководствовались проектировщики? Правильно, красивым пререндером проекта. Тут вообще о человеке в последнюю очередь думают, он в масштаб не вписывается.

Упражнения в узбекском и таджикских языках

Ходя по ужасно спроектированным тротуарам и дорожкам, смотря под ноги, чтобы не убиться о разъебанную плитку, непременно видишь рекламу услуг проституток. Если на Васильевском острове на всем известных объявлениях пишут «Отдых», «Пиво в подарок» и «Любовь», то в Девяткино пишут «Мухаббат», «Севги» и «Янги кизлар». Теперь можно ехать в Таджикистан и Узбекистан и найти с местными общий язык. Стоит ли говорить, что жрицы любви проживают недалеко от основного потребителя. Да, большие квартиры в Парнасе, Кудрово и Девяткино куплены под дешевые бордели. Жить далеко от своей семьи тяжело. Жить в Девяткино еще тяжелее.

11 литр пива в подарок

В каждом доме есть пивняк. Конкуренция такая, что жуть,. Поэтому тебе и днем и ночью будут бить по глазам баннеры, бегущие строки, неотрегулированные под человеческие глаза вывески и лампы. А по ушам аудиореклама, которая выиграет любой конкурс по навязчивости и громкости. И нет, я не ханжа и к алкоголю отношусь нормально, но тут некуда сходить, поэтому если ты хочешь провести вечер с друзьями на районе, вы скорее всего будете пить пиво, заедая дерьмовыми суши из ближайшей сушарни на вынос. Как в районе не спиться я не знаю, там прям подмывает.

В районе нет птиц…

Открыв окно летом, вы не услышите чириканья.

А есть ли плюсы жизнь в Девяткино?

Для меня там плюсов не оказалось. Я уехала, как только появилась такая возможность. Мне не жалко отдавать чужому дяде 30 000 рублей в месяц, лишь бы никогда больше не ездить в Западное Мурино. Если у вас есть другие заметки о жизни в Западном Мурино, вы можете со мной поспорить. Но мне кажется, спорят тут только те, кто купил квартиру и не может признать, что облажался.

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